Writing your Spiritual Care Directive
A Buddhist Plan for the Time of Dying
Nine Weeks of Live Online Group Coaching
March 20 - May 15, 2023
This group offering will be presented from a Buddhist perspective inviting a unique conversation and exploration in planning and training as a practitioner for the time of dying.
Using a 10 part comprehensive template, called a Spiritual Care Directive, we will start with creating a Dharma Vision and journey all the way through the 49 days following death.
This process is designed to clearly and practically write down wishes and reflections as an act of kindness for ourselves and others.
In preparing for dying and death, we deepen and clarify our daily practice and
inspire the lives we live.
As a group we will explore topics, ideas and aspirations in such a way that we seek out specific instructions from our own teachers and lineage traditions. As we may be coming from different lineages and different levels of practice, the course will offer structure and planning to be personalized by each practitioner.
As an End of Life Coach, I am here not as a teacher of the dharma, but as a gatherer of dharma friends to hold safe space to share, inspire, and develop community on the topic of dying.
10 STEP JOURNEY
What is a SPIRITUAL CARE DIRECTIVE? This is a document that invites you to write down your spiritual wishes and instructions for the time of dying. Like a medical care directive, it communicates what is important to you and appoints someone to act on your behalf when you may not be able to speak for yourself. We will move through this 10 part journey in applying the dharma to dying for ourselves and/or the dying of a dharma friend. This Spiritual Care Directive PDF will invite you to take practical and clear action in writing down your wishes. Our group goal will be to complete this directive by the end of our 9 weeks.
DHARMA VISION We will open the session by meditating on the inevitability of our death and taking death to heart. We will discuss what death may ask of us and look honestly at how prepared we may be. This will be an opportunity to reflect on the process of dying as a practitioner and what would support that vision.
ASPIRATIONS We will share traditional aspiration prayers as well as compose our own personal aspirations for the time of death. We will draw together our experiences as a community. It will inspire you to seek out, collect, clarify, and encourage your practice of these prayers from your own lineage.
SPIRITUAL ADVOCACY / DHARMA FRIENDS We will discuss the importance of choosing a Spiritual Advocate or Dharma Friend who can partner with us through the dying process. At our most vulnerable time, we will rely heavily on our loved ones. As an act of kindness creating a Spiritual Care Directive will give them the guidance and direction they need to ease their hearts and offer meaningful dying and death care.
CREATING OUR DHARMA BOX We will share what ritual items may be supportive at the time of dying and build a dharma box. As a practitioner, certain items may create auspicious conditions for the time of dying and it can be beneficial to be prepared in advance.
ACTIVE PHASES OF DYING This will be an opportunity to explore the natural phases and signs of dying, as well as explore the dissolution process of senses and elements as it is described in Tibetan Buddhism. By becoming familiar with these natural processes of dying, we may be able to recognize these stages and meet them with greater grace and confidence. We will explore the merit of suffering and how we can bring what death asks of us on to the path.
MOMENT OF DEATH We will share opportunities for learning more about phowa, the inner and outer respiration, and the three subtle bodies. By opening this conversation we will raise our awareness of these teachings and empowerments and seek them out from our own teachers and lineages. We will explore the varying perspectives on organ donation.
THREE DAYS FOLLOWING DEATH We will explore what is happening in the days following death, how the dead body is sacred and what may be happening during this phase of entering the bardos. We will discuss the structure of bardo prayer sets. This session will include an overview of the home funeral and how to preserve the sacred body at home.
DISPOSITION OF BODY We will discuss the importance of choosing your disposition of body, the ceremony of shrouding, compassionate transportation to crematory or burial site, and green deathcare. Together we will review and share prayers and chants for the cremation or burial ceremony.
49 DAYS We will share prayer options for daily, weekly intervals during the 49 days and inspire each other to identify prayers from your own lineages. We will practice sponsoring prayers and review the Sur incense offering for those traveling in the bardos.
DHARMA WILL We will review the the importance of writing a Dharma Will to assign our dharma items to our dharma friends or centers.
DEDICATION AND CLOSING
THIS GROUP MAY BE FOR YOU IF
- You know preparing for death is important and yet you keep putting it off.
- You have spiritual practices and prayers that you want to organize for the time of death.
- You are worried that your family or friends would not know how to fulfill your spiritual wishes at the time of death.
- You would like a guide or template to support and inspire you in clarifying your specific wishes.
- You would like to create a plan for death as an act of kindness for your family and friends.
- You would like to support a practitioner or dharma friend in fulfilling their dying wishes.
- You want planning for death to inspire your current practice.
- You would like to connect with resources in your community to support your dharma vision for dying.
- You feel far from your teacher and monastic community and want to create a support system where you live and will die.
- You are looking for a community of practitioners to hold safe and loving conversation in preparing for dying.
GROUP COACHING FAQS
We will meet on Monday nights to explore content and ideas, and come together on Fridays for discussion, follow-up and support.
Live Zoom Sessions on Mondays 5:30-7:00p PDT starting March 20, 2023 through May 15, 2023
Live Discussion Zoom Sessions on Fridays 11:00p - 12:00p PDT starting on March 24, 2023 through May 12, 2023
Recordings of sessions will be available on this Teachable platform for easy and anytime access for up to 6 months.
All times will be posted in Pacific Standard time.
BONUS - Participants are invited to 6 month reunions to share updates and benefit from additional conversation and resources. Reunions occur every April and October.
Sneak Peek Session Schedule
- VIDEO Recording is HERE! - Week 1 - Motivation and Dharma Vision (91:19)
- VIDEO - Welcome and a LITTLE BIT ABOUT RHONDA (15:51)
- VIDEO Recording is HERE. Friday Discussion (59:23)
- Zoom Call Link
- PDF - Our 9 Week Schedule
- PDF - Spiritual Care Directive PDF (to print and write in)
- PDF - End of Life Resources
- PDF - Group Social Code
- PDF - Group Prayer List
- CHART - What can emerge in dying - Illustration
- READ - Living is Dying - How to Prepare for Dying, Death and Beyond - Dzongsar Jamyang Khyentse
- READ - Creating Your Dharma Vision through Contemplation - Anyen Rinpoche
- READ - How Creating a Vision Board Can Help with End of Life Planning - Karen Wyatt
- Long Life Prayers for the Group - Monlam 3/20/23
- Friday Sponsorship - Prayers for Lungta (Flag Raising Ceremony)
- VIDEO Recording is HERE - Week 2 - Aspirations (84:00)
- PDF - Introduction to Buddhist Aspiration Prayers - Tulku Sherdor
- PDF - Liberation Upon Hearing Instructions - Phakchok Rinpoche's booklet
- PDF - The King of Aspiration Prayers
- PDF - The Secret Crown Seed Tantra that is the Only Child of All Buddhas
- PDF - Root Verses on the Six Bardos
- PDF - Prayer of Kuntuzangpo (Kunzang Mönlam)
- AUDIO - Kuntuzangpo Monlam - The Aspiration Prayer of Samantabhadra (Audio)
- LINK - Aspirations in Accordance with the Dharma
- PDF - Shantideva's Bodhicaryāvatāra
- PDF - Prayer for Rebirth in the Copper-Colored Mountain of Glory
- AUDIO - Calling the Guru from Afar - by Sascha & Rodrigo
- PDF - The Practice that Results in Enlightenment - Jetsunma Ahkon Llamo
Meet your End of Life Coach -
Rhonda LoPresti, PCC
As an End of Life Coach, I am passionate in holding and creating sacred space, personal ritual, spiritual practice and creative choices through dying and deathcare. I believe we can learn to die and in learning to die we actually awaken to life itself.
Founder of Peacefully Prepared, I have evolved a Spiritual Care Directive for Buddhists. This 10-part custom process guides clients in planning out their end of life practice from their Dharma Vision all the way through to the 49 Days following death. I also encourage end of life wishes and planning in my 5 chapter notebook called a Passing Plan. These spiritual and practical processes are an act of self-love in preparing for end of life and an act of kindness to ease the grief and stress of your loved ones. Continuously serving and raising awareness about the home funeral option, clients are able to apply their spiritual practices and create auspicious conditions at the time of death. Having performed home funerals for my own family as well as clients, I am passionate about exploring and providing resources for this treasured process.
I have been a practitioner of Tibetan Buddhist for over 30 years and serve as a Board and Volunteer Member for Rangjung Yeshe Gomde California (RYG CA). I have had the honor of developing a dying and death program for practitioners and give group talks annually. I respect the work of many Tibetan and Western Buddhist teachers and routinely seek retreat, teachings and workshops for meditation in preparation for death. It has been an honor to offer this program and talks for the community of Tara Mandala, in Colorado
A native resident of San Diego, California, I live and love life with my husband and two adult children.
Andrew Holecek, author of Preparing to Die says,
“Remarkable offering.
What you are doing here is so spot on
– please continue to do it.”
"Peacefully Prepared helped me come to terms with my passing and guided me through every step of the process of preparing. Rhonda has spent years gathering the materials, prayers and blessings to help us feel ready to release fully when the time comes. She covered both the mundane and spiritual aspects and helped me put my mind at ease knowing that my loose ends are tied up and my loved ones will not be burdened."
~ Stephen B.
"Working with Rhonda LoPresti on my end of life planning documents and my spiritual plan has been a real joy and of great benefit to me and my family. Having this binder completed with all my pertinent information as well as my spiritual directive has been such a comfort. I know things are taken care of! Having worked through my Father’s and my Partner’s death with no documents really made me realize how important making your wishes known are to the people you love. Rhonda is so skillful, helpful, and truly great at what she does. I can’t recommend her enough!"
~ Joanne B.
"I know first-hand of Rhonda's expertise as she gently navigated me through my grief and mourning process. Rhonda coaches from the heart. Her openness and unique skillset give her the ability to extraordinarily guide clients in navigating the process of end of life planning, grief, and mourning the loss of a loved one. I highly recommend Rhonda and feel blessed to have had her
presence in my time of need."
~ Sandra V
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10 STEP JOURNEY
What is a SPIRITUAL CARE DIRECTIVE? This is a document that invites you to write down your spiritual wishes and instructions for the time of dying. Like a medical care directive, it communicates what is important to you and appoints someone to act on your behalf when you may not be able to speak for yourself. We will move through this 10 part journey in applying the dharma to dying for ourselves and/or the dying of a dharma friend. This Spiritual Care Directive PDF will invite you to take practical and clear action in writing down your wishes. Our group goal will be to complete this directive by the end of our 9 weeks.
DHARMA VISION We will open the session by meditating on the inevitability of our death and taking death to heart. We will discuss what death may ask of us and look honestly at how prepared we may be. This will be an opportunity to reflect on the process of dying as a practitioner and what would support that vision.
ASPIRATIONS We will share traditional aspiration prayers as well as compose our own personal aspirations for the time of death. We will draw together our experiences as a community. It will inspire you to seek out, collect, clarify, and encourage your practice of these prayers from your own lineage.
SPIRITUAL ADVOCACY / DHARMA FRIENDS We will discuss the importance of choosing a Spiritual Advocate or Dharma Friend who can partner with us through the dying process. At our most vulnerable time, we will rely heavily on our loved ones. As an act of kindness creating a Spiritual Care Directive will give them the guidance and direction they need to ease their hearts and offer meaningful dying and death care.
CREATING OUR DHARMA BOX We will share what ritual items may be supportive at the time of dying and build a dharma box. As a practitioner, certain items may create auspicious conditions for the time of dying and it can be beneficial to be prepared in advance.
ACTIVE PHASES OF DYING This will be an opportunity to explore the natural phases and signs of dying, as well as explore the dissolution process of senses and elements as it is described in Tibetan Buddhism. By becoming familiar with these natural processes of dying, we may be able to recognize these stages and meet them with greater grace and confidence. We will explore the merit of suffering and how we can bring what death asks of us on to the path.
MOMENT OF DEATH We will share opportunities for learning more about phowa, the inner and outer respiration, and the three subtle bodies. By opening this conversation we will raise our awareness of these teachings and empowerments and seek them out from our own teachers and lineages. We will explore the varying perspectives on organ donation.
THREE DAYS FOLLOWING DEATH We will explore what is happening in the days following death, how the dead body is sacred and what may be happening during this phase of entering the bardos. We will discuss the structure of bardo prayer sets. This session will include an overview of the home funeral and how to preserve the sacred body at home.
DISPOSITION OF BODY We will discuss the importance of choosing your disposition of body, the ceremony of shrouding, compassionate transportation to crematory or burial site, and green deathcare. Together we will review and share prayers and chants for the cremation or burial ceremony.
49 DAYS We will share prayer options for daily, weekly intervals during the 49 days and inspire each other to identify prayers from your own lineages. We will practice sponsoring prayers and review the Sur incense offering for those traveling in the bardos.
DHARMA WILL We will review the the importance of writing a Dharma Will to assign our dharma items to our dharma friends or centers.
DEDICATION AND CLOSING